Tween Hearts Break Across the Globe.

Not as many as if it were Joe or the little one, Nick, who is dating she-who-must-not-be-named, but hearts none the less. I won't waste time on the details, you've already heard them by now.

Not sure how I feel about this. He is only 21. She's probably around there. I know, I know, love happens, no matter what age you are, they'll defy all the stereotypes for marrying young! Yeah, maybe. I hope so. I also hope they have a good, long engagement.

Although, I guess something has to be said for being 21 and financially stable. And if what they're preaching is true, she's not pregnant. So, already, they are leagues above other kiddies their age rushing down the aisle.

Theo is on vacation for a few days, so we will have to wait on her opinion, but it shall come, and it shall be mighty.

-CE

Benedict Hossa.

Marian Hossa has been signed to a 12 year deal with the Chicago Blackhawks. Perhaps he thinks they are next in line for the Stanley Cup throne...sometime in the next dozen years?

He turned down a 10 year deal with Detroit. Maybe it's too bitter staying there? Too many bad memories. This is a man who clearly follows his heart. Or maybe just the money. Yep, probably just the money. According to a TSN poll, 44.7% of people chose the Hossa/Blackhawks deal as the one they were most surprised by.

These are pictures sent into the Pensblog (http://www.thepensblog.bloguin.com/) by fans. They just make me chuckle.

Honestly, I admire the guy for getting up in the morning. Life dealt him a harsh hand. Life picked him up, and then threw him back down. Maybe a fresh start in Chicago is just what he needs. Lord knows it's hard to get up on your luck in Detroit, especially in this economy. Wouldn't it just be terrible if they won the cup next year though? Nah, God's not that mean.

-CE

The Penguins Run-Down.

Pittsburgh Penguins Co. never rests, because after the Stanley Cup there is the rush of the Draft. I promised that I would fill in the rest of the details, and have been slacking since. Sorry. So here's the Cliff's Notes on what's happened.

The Piece and Free Candy (Rob Scuderi and Brooks Orpik, respectively), were invited to the USA Hockey Olympic Camp. Bill Guerin was re-signed (only for a year though), YES! Oh, and so was Craig Adams. woo hoo. Hal Gill is a goner, signing a 4 mil. deal with Montreal.

The Draft had a very "passing of the torch" like feel, since a handful of teams (the Flames, Red Wings, Lighting, Sabers, Maple Leafs...) all picked sons of hockey veterans. Including the Penguins. As the last pick in the second round, they chose Philip Samuelsson, who is a defenseman for Boston College and son of Ulf Samuelsson, who was insanely popular during his time in Pittsburgh. He has cutie potential. Got to hate the spikey greased hair, but we'll see Phillip, we'll see.

The Pens also drafted Alex Velischeck (not my type- square face, and every picture I've seen he looks like he's in a police line up), son of Randy V. (not spelling it again), and Andy Bathgate, grandson of...Andy Bathgate, who led the Penguins in scoring their first expansion in '67-'68. Can't find a picture of him, but his grandpa was a total hottie. So, that's a positive sign, even if good looks skip a generation or something weird like that.

Apparently they're loading up on Defensemen, because they also signed Brian Strait to a three- year entry level contract. He kind of has a tall, dark and drunk look about him if you ask me. I want to know who the cutie on the left is. But, to each his own. He is also a Boston College alum and captained the gold-medal winning Team USA in the 2006 International Hockey Federation World Under-18 Championships. Sweet.

Here's the real catch: Mike Rupp from the New York Islanders was signed to a two- year contract. Dude is 6' 5''. He's going to dwarf Jordan Staal. He seems like such a cutie. I'm calling a kind of crazy attitude. I bet he's going to give Max a run for his money.Rupp brings to Pittsburgh a wealth of experience, versatility and a Stanley Cup ring from the New Jersey Devils' championship run in 2003. The "real catch" part? HE'S FROM CLEVELAND! yeahhh. He seems like a fighter. That's the Cleveland in him. The cold Erie air makes us tough. Betches.

I cannot wait.

-CE

Beach Volleyball.

Has several core ideals, of this I am sure. Theo will fill in the actual details here, since she is the expert and I am the constant spectator.

The one rule I am sure of, in the "casual" game of beach volleyball, and certainly not the professional game, is that you have to be wearing a bathing suit that is defying the laws of gravity. Stephanie Pratt is trying, she really is. Unfortunately, her bathing suit top is pretty much one "oops I am so silly I missed that one!" move away from falling down around her ankles.

Obviously, she is a little slacking on the rules, since most pro "casual" beach volleyball girls try to make it look really competitive so they can justify all the lunging and grunting. She doesn't even have a real volleyball.

Also, I have to admit, I perused Theo and I's list of "Do Not Blogs" and I believe anyone from the Hills is on it. As is anyone from Secret Life of the American Teenager. Whoops. But here's how I see it: these people exist in the world, even if we don't blog on them. So... as long as we keep it light and poke fun at them, it's more like The Soup instead of Perez Hilton's constant barrage of sycophantic praise/hate.

Thoughts Theo?

-CE

Her bubbies are about to pop out?! Beach volleyball isn't something for the faint of heart - it's one the of best workouts if done correctly. Here is Kerri Walsh, Pro Volleyball Player. Note, the bikini - not cute, but supportive. No make up, no cute jewelry except a wedding ring. Stephanie Pratt gross. Kerri Walsh great.

-TM

Uh-oh.

Those mommy twi-hards are gasping in shock, maybe anger right now. Because Peter Facinelli has messed with something sacred.

His looks. Dr. Carlisle Cullen was spotted in L.A. yesterday looking a little filled out in the face. and brunette. With some sort of weird boy bander thing going on. Really, what is this? It's not just that I hate the color red either. Which I do. I had to check three times just to make sure it was really him.

Le sigh. I used to kind of think he was cute too. Not after this.

-CE

--Photo courtesy of wireimage.com

Who?

This girl. Shailene Woodley, the whiny voice of over indulged teenage girls looking for attention everywhere. She was on Fuse's number 1 countdown because...she's famous? Are the people who watch her show even the same people who watch Fuse? Somehow I doubt it. Maybe she's trying to prove she's got edge. She's a real actor, like those kids on 90210 over at the CW. The stuff network dreams are made of.

When it first started last summer, Theo and I gathered up a group of our friends at my house every Tuesday night, and after a CVS run for supplies, we would sit down and laugh at the horribleness that is The Secret Life of the American Teenager. I still cannot understand it. We eventually stopped watching it, maybe after six-ish episodes or so. Yet it still keeps doing well. You can tell that it is written by the most out of touch old people on the planet. Yet it's still popular.

The question who turns into the question of WHY. I think I've figured it out, and it turns into another one of my theories. Teen pregnancy is gold. It will always bring in viewers. People are fascinated with it. Because secretly, we all think it would be kind of cool. It's like, you know it wouldn't be, but there is this tiny part of you that thinks it would be like Juno. Or you would grow up and be Lorelai Gilmore. Your mom would run for vice president of the United States.

Then again, it's a theory. It can be unproven. Hopefully soon, because this show drives me nuts.

-CE

Chuck vs. the First Pitch

Love Chuck. Love Zachary Levi even more. And apparently he likes baseball, which is another plus. They don't let just anyone throw the first pitch at Dodgers games...oh wait. Victoria Beckham did. And Whitney Port, Geri Halliwell and the Kardashians. Ok, so maybe they do let just anyone. I choose to believe Zachary is a baseball fan. Maybe even an Indians fan...but I don't dare to dream that much.

I honesty have no idea how I got into Chuck I feel like, one day I woke up and had seen all the episodes. Weirdest thing. It is now one of my main go-to's when I need to waste time...aka procrastinate. I "need" to waste time sounds so much more necessary. Gives procrastination the urgency we all feel it deserves at the time.

Anyways, Theo and I were discussing this last night, and we decided that we like the beard. Not many people can pull it off without looking greasy. Plus, I always feel bad for series actors since a lot of them have to keep almost the same look for 5 + years. Especially Zachary Levi. He kind of has to keep a not so chic haircut as the adorable nerd-herder.

The only thing I question is his pants. I just don't like them. They're too...flared maybe? Perhaps it's just bad-ish jeans with the wrong shoes. Terrible shoes. I don't know, judge for yourself. I could just be critical today.

Only one question left: Why are there not more people there watching him? Ungrateful.

-CE