Jennifer's Body Issues.

Alright, so thanks to writing for the Observer, a job which I am finding more an more lucrative, I got to see Jennifer's Body this weekend. As you might recall, I knew I would be too cheap and the movie would be too bad to actually pay for it. Story of my life. Good news is, since it was free it made the movie so much better.

Bad news: my friend Kelsey felt the need to point out to me that Megan Fox has toe thumbs. It was all I could see. There was a flash of one of them somewhere in the movie and honestly, that was the point at which I was most scared. They freak me.

Guys must not know this, or else how would she have a career? They are so freakish. It's like on 30 Rock- that's a deal breaker ladies (men). Serious. It's gross. Anyways, after the jump is the Observer article so you know my opinion on the movie, not just her toe thumbs. 

Adorably Amanda.

Amanda Seyfried looking gorgeous in Marc Jacobs at the Jennifer's Body Hot Topic event. I have to review a movie for Monday's Observer, and it was between this and The Informant! with Matt Damon. I'm seriously thinking . First of all, I love and trust Amanda's movies. Second of all, I want to see it, and yet I don't want to pay for it. Writing an article about it equals problem solved. This is why I end up writing like, three articles a week. Le sigh, poverty.

Also, we both have anxiety attacks. That's weird. But cool.
“I suffer from anxiety attacks a lot,” she explained to Allure. “Like, the other day, I had an attack in the middle of a relaxing massage: My head was just spinning, and I felt nauseous! I was saying to myself, just don’t make a scene! Finish this massage, or you’re going to be really annoyed with yourself.”
-CE
Photo courtesy of Just Jared.

Megan's Body.

I watched this trailer on a whim. I was curious.

The curiouser thing? I actually...liked it. I mean, kind of. I'm having an internal struggle that will continue until it comes out in September. It is the Megan Fox movie Jennifer's Body. It's like a 90's flashback to Jawbreakers and an 80's flashback to Heathers.

Despite the Megan Fox Factor it does not suck automatically. I have a feeling that this movie will freak me the hell out, but that's a duh. The truth is, this is kind of how I view Megan Fox. I secretly always thought she like, worshiped the devil or sold her soul to get her supposed sex appeal. I bet Diablo Cody had her in mind from the beginning when she wrote this.

Plot is: A gorgeous cheerleader is possessed by a demon and starts feeding off the boys in a small Minnesota farming town, her "plain Jane" best friend must kill her, then escape from a correctional facility to go after the Satan-worshipping rock band responsible for the horrible transformation.". Jason Reitman (Thank You For Smoking, Juno) will be producing with Karyn Kusama (Girlfight, Æon Flux) directing.

Now, call me crazy, but there are certain actors I trust. Amanda Seyfried is one of them, for now. I can't think of anything she's ever done that I haven't liked. Veronica Mars, Mean Girls, Big Love, Wildfire and of course Mamma Mia. But what really got me attached to this movie? No, not Adam Brody. He's desperate for work and who can trust him after ITLOW? The best part about that movie was Olympia Dukakis (love her!). I totally see him as a demon though. Totally.

It was Beaver. All you VM fans know what I'm talking about. Cassidy Casablancas, the sexiest murderer (etc) on the planet. Kyle Gallner. Is in this movie. He cancels out the Megan Fox Factor. Love him. Adore him.

Now, it will depend on how un- poor I am in September, but I will probably end up going to see this. September isn't a great movie month, and I could totally see myself having an agonizing mind debate before gathering up everyone to go see it.

I will be going for Kyle and Amanda. That's all. The swamp thing isn't deserving of any attention whatsoever. In fact, I am still not altogether convinced that she doesn't get her body this way. Like that episode of Smallville, where the girl who used to be fat has some weird sci-fi experimental- thing happen to her and ends up losing all this weight because the only thing that can really sustain her is human fat, so she has to like, suck the fat out of people to live. It's weird, I never watched the show, but for some reason I've seen that one three times.

-CE