The Orange Point.

I hate orange. Ask anyone. The color makes me angry for some reason. Especially when it is worn by a person. It makes you look like a Flintstones push-pop. Not flattering.

People (aka my "friends") think I am crazy, but literally every time I see someone wearing orange I let out an involuntary "ew". It's led to some awkward cover ups. As in,

Friend: "What do you think of my new top?"
Me: "Ew."
Friend: "What?"
Me: "Eww... look awesome. Yeah, you look awesome."

Jessica Szohr proves my Orange Point. Cute, adorable girl- but totally insecure. Hence: orange. Someone was able to talk her into wearing this heinous color on the cover of a magazine, and while she can pull it off, it's not her best look.

Here's "The Orange Point": When I see orange, I see women in their mid-40s who are fake tanned and bleached blonde to hell desperately trying to hold on to their youth, sipping whatever mixed drinks by the pool, wearing their orange tops and tight white capri pants. Orange says "Notice me! My husband doesn't!"

Orange is insecure. Orange should be a garnish, not the whole meal.
-CE
Photo courtesy of JJ.

Szohr is Stripper Sad.

She's pretty. I know this. But there is just something about her I find so...confused. She also looks kind of sad in these. Like, stripper sad. 'I'm only being used for my looks' sad.

Hmm. Maybe she was going for sultry. Well, she missed and went all the way to stripper sad. And you can just tell they do crazy stuff to her hair to make it look "natural". Damn gurl.

Seriously, look at these! No sultry or sexy to be found. Just stripper sad. This explains the extreme lack of confidence one must have to date Ed Westwick. Don't mistake me- not Chuck Bass, Ed Westwick. Chuck Bass is...well, Chuck Bass. Ed however...gross. I mean, seriously. She has got to be stripper sad to date him.
-CE
Photos courtesy of JJ.

Dear BB,

Court and I went to high school with a girl name Baren Butta (name changed to protect her identity). In our Senior Ad section, we did this little snippet with information that people didn't know about that senior. Baren's was, "People don't know this, but i have extensions in my hair."

We spent a lot of hours on the book. Lots of tears, sweat and smoothies went into it. But, most of all, laughter. Even at one a.m., we were still laughing.

When Baren's quote was read aloud, dead silence spread through the room. Why, you might ask? We all knew her hair was fake. Every girl in our school probably knew. Maybe Baren expected people to say something to her, I don't know. Clearly, she thought that cheap weave was fooling people.

Okay, that rant went a lot longer than intended. My point is hair. The difference between black and white hair. Growing up in predominately white schools and neighborhoods, I've always had to field questions about my hair. "Is that weave?" "Why is it called a relaxer?" "How come you never wear your hair down?"

Good Hair is going to answer those questions. Chris Rock's daughter inspired him to produce a movie that will be educating people everywhere.
-TM

Haha oh 1 am: "Ok, Lazy Kitchen does not have a picture."

And remember that time you got braids in your hair? That threw people for a loop. They looked so awesome though. I was jealous. Then my hair started dreading, and it was all good.
-CE 



Photo Source

Poor Man's Megan Fox

Ouch, but really Jessica Szohr, you left me no choice! Who do you think you are? I can tell you- she wants to Angelina ----> Megan Fox. But, she's not very talented, nor interesting. So, next step in her campaign will probably be dissing Blake Lively for being fake and calling Chace Crawford a man-whore. Then, maybe a little man stealing and a huge ass tattoo on her arm (preferably of a celebrity that died too young?).

This is Jessica at the launch of Target's Gossip Girl inspired clothing line. She's dressed to be daring, but all I can think is that this outfit has been done.

"Oh Oh, look I worked in some animal print in my shoes! How clever!! I'm soooo fashion forward. OMGEEE! Can you see my two randomly placed tattoos, can't wait to put one on my biceps- soooo stokedddd!"

That was my Jessica Szohr. God, I can't stand her. Here's a picture of the back. Gag me.

-TM