Miley Cyrus and the Creepy Dwarf.

"I just came back from Madrid"- Miley

"So did you just get back from Europe?"- Ryan Seacrest.

Duh.

Here is my thought by thought commentary on the video:
Why does she sound like she's chewing tabacco or something? Tell me, what does she know exactly about girls being in abusive relationships? It seems to me like all the guys she has ever been with have been completely whipped because they needed her to become famous.

And news to Miley's mom and Ryan Seacrest- it's not a good thing to get younger every day. Did no one see Benjamin Button???


"Billy Ray better be having the Olympic Games with that." EW RYAN SEACREST YOU GROSS LITTLE GNOME. That's her mother, first off, and secondly...GROSS.

It makes me hate myself a little to say this, but...she's wearing a jean shirt. Just saying. Ugh. The self-loathing came more quickly than I thought.

"I don't listen to any pop music." Five minutes later... "I listen to Lady Gaga!" GURL. THAT IS POP MUSIC. POPULAR. POP. MUSIC.

And it's a little early in the day to start crying "my life isn't fair! I didn't get credit for stuff because Disney, the only reason I'm famous, held me back, but they can't hold me back anymore!"

Now I'm just super distracted by that red flashing light in a room in the background. What's up with that?

Now I'm wondering if those studs on her jacket could be used as a weapon.

Oh, creepy Ryan is back on the mom thing again.

...and there is a part 2. Sorry I can't do this to myself again.
-CE