Jessica and The Ball[er] in her Belly.

Disclaimer: Theo and I are Nick Lachey loyalists. We hold no sympathy for Jessica Simpson.

That being said, I can't believe I didn't think of this before, but isn't it really terrible to dye your hair when you're pregnant? I seem to remember something like that in Baby Mama.



Shame Jessica Simpson, we all know that platinum blonde doesn't naturally spring from your head.

Onto more important issues, an explanation has arisen about her gargantuan size. She has denied that she is carrying twins (and in fact, will give birth to a baby girl, reportedly to be named Maxwell after fiancée Eric Johnson's grandmother) but has released that her doctor estimates the baby to be 10 lbs.

Jessica Simpson of course, had something annoying to say about it when she spoke with Elle. 

 "[The baby] is in the 90th percentile of weight right now, so she's a big un. She's going to be a very big baby, but I guess that's what I get for letting a baller knock me up."

A BALLER. Really Jessica? A baller. First of all, when people say that, they are usually speaking about footballers, as in soccer. Or someone who has a lot of money. Eric Johnson is neither. He also wasn't a very good "baller" so...not exactly a bragging point.

This is worse than the time she tweeted about "her Yalie." And I don't even want to get into the implications of wearing a snakeskin dress to your baby shower.

Photo courtesy of Yahoo. 

K Stew Likes Being Alone.

It must have taken a hell of a lot of photoshopping to make Kristen Stewart NOT look awkward here.

I love her outfit. It's very, very un-her, so I'm sure it's Elle's idea, but I love it anyway.

On her loss of privacy: “Somebody knocked on my hotel room door and asked for a light, then said that they were a big fan. I was like, ‘Do you really need me to light your cigarette? How do you know what room I’m in?’ I can’t be by myself and I like being by myself.”
On criticism of her public manner: “I think it’s funny that when I go onstage to accept an award, they think I’m nervous, uncomfortable, and awkward—and I am—but those are bad words for them.”
On her red-carpet demeanor: “People say that I’m miserable all the time. It’s not that I’m miserable, it’s just that somebody’s yelling at me…I literally, sometimes, have to keep myself from crying…It’s a physical reaction to the energy that’s thrown at you.”

Who wants to be nervous, uncomfortable and awkward? Who aren't those bad words for? 

 

I really don't care what she does in her personal life, but she needs to stop pretending she's an actress- when I see her in a movie NOT awkward and uncomfortable, I will personally be the first in line to put her up for a Oscar. 

-CE

Photo courtesy of JJ.

Can We Have J-Lo Back Please?

I wasn't going to comment on this cover. Frankly, from her 'loca' New Years performance, I've been totally sick of Jennifer Lopez's post-motherhood comeback.

This however, this could not be ignored:

On being proud of her romantic comedies: “I think Maid in Manhattan and Monster-in-Law are very layered movies. And that’s why they’re so successful. People don’t like s—-y romantic comedies. Nothing that’s s—-y is going to make $100 million.”

WHAT? CHE? Monster-in-Law was THE SHITTIEST movie I've seen for a while. Only that movie with Sandra Bullock and Keaneu Reeves was shittier. So shitty in fact, that Sandra, a really good, likable actress had to go practically into hiding for years until people forgot about it. The Lake House? Was that what it was called? Whatever it was- I wanted my money back. That is officially the WORST movie I have ever seen, but Monster-in-Law was pretty close.

Layers? Really? That movie had about as many layers as Tara Reid, which is to say, almost none whatsoever. People will most definitely watch shitty romantic comedies. How else would Katherine Heigl have a job right now? 

Can we have J-Lo back now? Please? I'd even take Jenny from the Block.

-CE

Photo courtesy of JJ.

Cover Babies.

Hmm. I don't know about THIS. Don't celebrities try to shield their children from the spotlight? I don't know many children under five who have already been on the cover of Elle magazine, do you?

Plus her head is at a strange angle. I think it's supposed to be maternal, but it just looks painful.
-CE
Photo courtesy of JJ.