Jessica and The Ball[er] in her Belly.

Disclaimer: Theo and I are Nick Lachey loyalists. We hold no sympathy for Jessica Simpson.

That being said, I can't believe I didn't think of this before, but isn't it really terrible to dye your hair when you're pregnant? I seem to remember something like that in Baby Mama.



Shame Jessica Simpson, we all know that platinum blonde doesn't naturally spring from your head.

Onto more important issues, an explanation has arisen about her gargantuan size. She has denied that she is carrying twins (and in fact, will give birth to a baby girl, reportedly to be named Maxwell after fiancée Eric Johnson's grandmother) but has released that her doctor estimates the baby to be 10 lbs.

Jessica Simpson of course, had something annoying to say about it when she spoke with Elle. 

 "[The baby] is in the 90th percentile of weight right now, so she's a big un. She's going to be a very big baby, but I guess that's what I get for letting a baller knock me up."

A BALLER. Really Jessica? A baller. First of all, when people say that, they are usually speaking about footballers, as in soccer. Or someone who has a lot of money. Eric Johnson is neither. He also wasn't a very good "baller" so...not exactly a bragging point.

This is worse than the time she tweeted about "her Yalie." And I don't even want to get into the implications of wearing a snakeskin dress to your baby shower.

Photo courtesy of Yahoo. 

Pretentious Baby.

Amy Adams just had her baby, a girl!

That's the good news. The sucky news is that she named it Aviana Olea Le Gallo.

Aviana? How horribly pretentious sounding.

I'm going to quote Meredith from "The Office" here when I say- get off your high horse, richy.
-CE
Photo courtesy of JJ.

Jacob and Bella Sitting in a Tree...

I literally hate our society right now. Theo texted me earlier saying, "I hate people." This may have been what she was refering to.

'Emma' is no longer a top name for baby girls. I don't care about that. What I do care about is what has replaced it.

Isabella. What is the top name for baby boys you ask? JACOB.

Barf. Especially if these dumbasses are naming their baby girl Isabella and their baby boy Jacob. Because that's just gross.

The boy name 'Cullen' is the biggest riser, going up 297 spots. If numbers could be capitalized, I would capitalize that because it's INSANE. It's a name with absolutely no credentials on it's own, it's all Twi-hard craziness.

I hate people.
-CE

Thank God It's Not a Girl.

If this had happened two days earlier (and two days before the premiere of "Keeping Up with the Kardashians") I would have thought they planned it this way. I wouldn't put arranging the birth of a child around their reality tv show.

But anyways, Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick have welcomed their son, Mason Dash Disick into the world today.

Dash? Really? Get the reference, but won't that confuse people later on in life? Mason - Disick. Personally, just glad it's a boy. The world can't handle another Kardashian woman.

Anyways, Congratulations to the Kardashian/Disick family!
-CE
Photo courtesy of Life/Style.

Baby Fug.

Not all babies are cute. I volunteered in Labor and Delivery for three years, and I've seen a lot of new babies. Some are straight up fug. Some are cute. It's just the way the world works.

 

This is a cute baby. Waaaaaay cuter than Harlow if I say so myself. She looks too much like her dad, and his looks are not good on a toddler. She's odd looking. Sparrow, however, very cute. Not fug at all. Ok, Harlow is pretty cute here, even I have to admit it. Love the big, cheesy smile.

-CE

Photo courtesy of People.

NALEIGH? NALEIGH????

Katherine Heigl has named the Korean child she is adopting Naleigh. Whatever, sounds like a stripper's name, but whatever. The reason why is what is important.

It is a combination of Katherine's sister and mother's names (Leigh and Nancy).

Ringing a bell anyone? Hmm. Bell, why did I use that word? BELLA. Idiot Bella, aka Stephenie Meyers, named her baby RENESMEE. RENESMEE??? You just can't say it without a question mark at the end.

So shall be Naleigh's fate. I hope they change it. Or chang it as Theo and I like to say.
-CE
Photo courtesy of WENN.

Baby Sparrow.

Just when I was about to claim some semblance of respect for Nicole Richie, she goes and has her baby (a boy) and names it Sparrow. My sister used to love the name Tristan for a boy, and my mother would say, "That kid is going to get beaten up." Tristan is boarder line, but Sparrow? If that kid was raised anywhere but Hollywood...I think even that is stretching it. He totally might get beaten up. I would beat myself up if my name was Sparrow.

Sparrow James Midnight Madden.

Yeah, ok. Someone has a case of "I think I'm real cool". Luckily after a lifetime of degradation about his name, the kid probably won't ever have that problem.
-CE
Photo courtesy of Splash.

SMG Cares.

Love Sarah Michelle Gellar. You know this. Hate her too- she's one of those pregnant women who just have the cute belly, but keep their same figure as before. What a cop-out.

She was spotted heading to a girl's lunch at the Casa del Mar hotel on Friday afternoon in Santa Monica.

Ok, I think it's safe to say that she is ready to pop, and I can't wait to see how adorable this baby is. Also extremely curious what they're going to name it. I'm going to say something in the normal-ish, but cutsy old fashioned. Like Lilly or...Susannah or something.

Below is a just posted video of her in Tanzania as a CARE Ambassador. Love how she doesn't use things like this for her own cheap reasons. Like Paris Hilton. Or Jessica Simpson.
-CE
Photo courtesy of Just Jared.