Miley Thinks the Internet is Lame.

She makes a point. In a totally self-loving, 'I'm so awesome and you are so small' kind of way. She's growing, learning, loving- peace man. You are small minded and inhibited.

You have to remember- Destiny Hope Cyrus is special.

She may be an ass about it, but she has a point. Not that I'm following it at all- but then again, we were different. It was all about TV for us. If we were on the internet, it was a few smuggled minutes on AIM on the family computer before your mom started being nosy.

“I’m telling kids, don’t go on the internet,” said Cyrus. “It’s dangerous, it’s not fun, it wastes your life, and you should be outside playing sports or something.”

Miley continued, “I just think it’s kind of lame. I feel like I hang out with my friends and they’re so busy taking pictures of what they’re doing and putting them on Facebook that they’re not really enjoying what they’re doing. You’re going to look back and have a million pictures, but you’re not going to be in any of them. Because you’re not having fun, you’re too busy clicking away. So I think just enjoy the moment you’re in, and stop telling people about it. Just enjoy it.”

-CE

Photo courtesy of JJ.

John Mayer 2.0

I...literally almost threw up when I saw this picture. I mean, euchhh. Who does Penn Badgley think he is? Look at this quote, because we have another John Mayer on our hands-

On musicians he admires: “D’Angelo is a god to me. I mean, people hear that from me, and they’re always like, ‘Oh, but he got so messed up.’ Who cares? Listen to Voodoo. That’s a record. You know, I listen to it sometimes, and I wonder, maybe you have to be messed up to make art like that. Maybe you’ve got to destroy yourself. Or have that thing that destroys you.”

Dude. You're on "Gossip Girl". A shitty CW show. Before that? "John Tucker Must Die". You are fine, trust. No where near the kind of art that would even stub your toe. 

Why do these people constantly feel the need to show how cool they THINK they are in our faces? He and Blake Lively's legs deserve each other.

-CE

Photos courtesy of JJ.

Maniac Max.

Maxime Talbot on the cover of Maniac magazine. Oh Lord. Love him. Hate the tattoo. Did not know that was there. It's a Superman design, but with a T where the S usually is.

 I will quote Dane Cook on this, and I'm paraphrasing, but you get the idea: "Everytime I see a guy walking around with a Superman shirt on, I want to shoot him, and then stand over him and be like, 'Guess not, huh?'"

Exactly. If we get married, it's going to have to go. Check out an interview with the editor of Maniac magazine HERE about the cover- he's totally funny. I think I have a little bit of a crush on him. He looks a little like Roy from "The Office", right?

Then I watched THIS video, and totally forgave Max for the tattoo. Le sigh. How cute is he? 

Oh, and Brooks Orpik was also featured in the magazine. Eh, he's alright. He always looks so damn freaked out all the time. They put sunglasses on him for 3/4 of the pictures.

UPDATE: Here are the Brooks Pics. See what I mean? The eyes. DAMN boy. Calm down!

He does however, seem like a genuinely nice guy. So I feel a little badly for making fun of him. Oh well. You can see where he gets his nickname- Free Candy.

The Pensblog photoshopped his face onto the side of van with the words "Free Candy" on the side. Here he shows that looks can be decieving. 

I totally hate the writing in this magazine too. I should point that out. I read the articles and 'oh so cool' analogies like "bull shark into a fishbowl" seem to be the rule, not the exception. They think they real cool.
-CE
Photos courtesy of maniac.

Joshua Radin at Legends.

I went to go see Joshua Radin at Legends on Saturday night. It was alright.

Not that his music wasn't good, but the entire time I was there, I was thinking, 'I wish I was at a Matt Costa concert...' because really, Joshua Radin is good, but he's just a poor (wo)man's Matt.

Also, I did some research before we went to the concert (because normal people always treat a concert like an assignment...right?) and totally, totally called that he would be full of himself. He thinks he's real cool. Also, if I hadn't of known beforehand that he was 35 years old, I would have thought 25- tops. Maybe 15. We came to the conclusion that at best it's a cocky frat boy stage persona.

Another thing- boy loves his Bob Dylan. He sang "Don't Think Twice, It's Alright", but in the way that John Mayer thinks he's Stevie Ray Vaughn, Joshua Radin thinks that he's Bob Dylan.

While the stuff he did from his album that's out was kind of sleepy, I attribute that to the fact he probably wrote it as a one person guy. The new stuff he did was great- really upbeat, definitely way more diverse than his previous stuff. So, basically, the moral of the concert is to watch out for Joshua Radin's next album.
-CE

I'd Rather Be With You - Joshu...

Photo courtesy of Legends.

Reality TV Star Much?

Dear Khloe Kardashian,

You're a freaking reality television star! Get over yourself.

Bitch,
Theo Marshall
Photo Source

King Mayer.

Seriously John Mayer? Serious. John Mayer just might be the king of "I think I'm Real Cool". This jacket is his crown and cepter. There is just something about it that screams 'D-bags, I am your leader!'

Who buys a white jacket anyways? Not practical. And is that the outline of an iPhone I see in his pocket? Yeah. Case closed.

And check out below. How awkward is he with Alexa Chung? Creeper. 
-CE

It's On with Alexa Chung - MTV Shows

Photo courtesy of WENN.

Just One Little Problem.

Love a band that moves their own equiptment in. Roadies are so..."i think i'm real cool", you know? It's especially endearing when you're Ryan Gosling, and you really don't have to be moving in your own equiptment. Jared Leto wouldn't be caught dead moving his own shiz into a show. Does he even perform anymore? No clue. Anyways, this is Dead Man's Bones setting up for their performance at The Opera House in Toronto, Canada.

“Twelve cities in 14 days, a different choir in every city, and then a talent show opening for us in every city with local talent,” he told the Canadian Press.

Love him. Basically it falls to that. Love his boots (are they supposed to look like he just went tramping through a graveyard? Probably), love his shirt, hair, sunglasses...there is just one problem.

His pants.

Don't get me wrong, they look ok in some pictures, but I'm trying to visualize the whole 360 look in person, and...it's not looking good. The worst part is that I can't quite figure out what is wrong with them. Too short? Wrong color? Maybe they are too tight at the ankle? Something about them just makes me feel like he should be wearing loafers.

Le sigh. He is usually so much perfection, this is almost a relief. Even he can make a bad pant choice. I think it might be a too short/too tight at the ankle combo. It's a killer.
-CE
Photos courtesy of Just Jared.

4.5 Hours Later.

I'm driving home from school tomorrow morning, so I'm (of course) making my driving music right now. I usually spend an hour of the drive in silence; quiet time can really be under appreciated. It's just a time for me to contemplate the weeks past and ahead, but the rest of my time is dedicated to music.

I've said this before and I'll say it again. I'm not a "hip" music listener. I find a CD I like and work it. I think I get this from my mom, she listened to Billy Idol's "Rebel Yell" so much one summer the cassette melted or exploded in her car. Not too sure on those details. Anyways, I'm still holding on to summer with the Matt and Kim CD. It's totally summer music, but fall's a comin' and it's time for me to find something different. And, my iTunes is suffering from the thinking I'M so cool, I wish it'd step it down a level- I don't listen to the radio, but I don't want obscure stuff either.

As I am writing this, I'm listening to Taylor Swift and mulling on purchasing Mayday Parade or Jay-Z. Or, I could just mix some music. UGHHHH. This is usually were Courters comes in- she leaves mix CD's (usually intended for Sarah Montgomery) in my car... therefore making them mine, right? Or Sarah Joseph will send me a CD with four hours worth of music. But, it's fall break- nothing special.

Find out what I'll be listening to after the break. 
-TM

Don't buy Jay-Z! I have it and can give it to you. And I'm sure Claire has Mayday Parade, so don't buy that one either. I'll send you another mix with the Jay-Z, I've been SUPER benefiting from this Observer gig. 
-CE

Fugly Perez.

What the fug is up with Perez Hilton? He is turning crazy with all this fame. He is literally turning into a charicature of himself. This is definitely a SEVERE case of I think I'm too cool-itis.
I mean, lets be serious...Ew. Pasty gross man legs do not equal not wearing pants. With a child's nightgown as a shirt no less. I repeat: Ew.

Yes, those are the Real Housewives of New York. You notice that no one above the C list reality show level was at this "CoCo Perez" party. Maybe it's a bit too hasty to think you're too cool for pants.

The worst part is, he posted these on his own website. He WANTED people to see these. He needs to stop hanging out with Lady Mi Mo.
-CE
Photos courtesy of Perez.

Spotted: Little J Whoring for Money.

Taylor Momsen looking really comfortable on her streetcorner...I mean, on the set of Gossip Girl on Monday, and as I predicted, it seems Little J will be dressing more like the 16 year old (yes, that's right) actress, who dresses more like a 45 year old, washed up, chain smoking hook-ah. Lady of the night. Red woman. Painted lady. Jezebel. Trollep.

What you will. Nice extensions Taylor- part of the Paris Hilton collection I assume?
-CE
Photo courtesy of Just Jared.

The Eternal Gum Wad Dilemma.

This looks like someone just took a really large wad of gum and wrapped it around Lindsay Lohan. This is how it probs went down:

"Hey, I've got this giant wad of gum, what should I do with it? Genius- make it into a jacket. Anyone have Lindsay Lohan's number?"

Basically, that is how this came to be in the world.
-CE
Photo courtesy of Splash.

Forget Something?

Um, here is Lady Gaga. Proving that famous people lie when they claim to put one pantleg on at time like the rest of us. Just because you're famous doesn't mean you cannot wear pants!! I don't care what else is going on in this picture.

No one is too cool for pans

-TM

Photo Source

Baby Sparrow.

Just when I was about to claim some semblance of respect for Nicole Richie, she goes and has her baby (a boy) and names it Sparrow. My sister used to love the name Tristan for a boy, and my mother would say, "That kid is going to get beaten up." Tristan is boarder line, but Sparrow? If that kid was raised anywhere but Hollywood...I think even that is stretching it. He totally might get beaten up. I would beat myself up if my name was Sparrow.

Sparrow James Midnight Madden.

Yeah, ok. Someone has a case of "I think I'm real cool". Luckily after a lifetime of degradation about his name, the kid probably won't ever have that problem.
-CE
Photo courtesy of Splash.

Trannie Hall.

I'm sorry Boy George? Who the hell do you think you are? Annie Hall? Sit DOWN Taylor Momsen. You think you real cool, but you're not.

You were Cindy Lou Who in The Grinch. You are SO not cool. And can we say bad weave? Bad weave Taylor Momsen.
-CE
Photo courtesy of Zimbio.

Ah, Not So Much.

"I feel like an older Cameron Diaz."
– The Real Housewives of New York City's Ramona Singer, recalling her reaction to her new shorter hair to PEOPLE.
-CE

why?
-TM

I guess being blonde is enough for her.
-CE
Photo courtesy of People.

The Misunderstood Runaway.

Ok talk about contracting "I think I'm real cool". Taylor Momsen shopping with her mother. Taylor has created this alternate reality in her mind where she is a misunderstood teen runaway who just rolled out of bed wearing blood red lipsick and $200 sunglasses. This so called runaway made those fug bracelets in the garage of her house to get away from the pain of her parents not understanding her. Now they're all she has. Just her, her talent and a dream. Plus a little Starbucks along the way.

Here's the reality: Taylor Momsen is a pampered CW television star. Start shopping at Abercrombie and Fitch like the rest of your kind. It's who you are.
-CE
Photo courtesy of Pacific Coast News.

Sir Paul on the Record.

Rolling Stone did an article this month on the "secret" history of the Beatles. I no longer have my RS subscription so I couldn't read it, but it seemed a little bogus anyways. I mean, seriously? It's been years since these squabbles mattered. Just enjoy the music. It's done. Half the Beatles are dead anyways, get over it.

"John was on drugs, wasn't he? This is the trouble with history, with journalism. John said so much c**p that he later said he hadn't meant. It's bulls**t. We were there. We all enjoyed it. I never really criticized John. I'm not that critical. It's a question of personalities.John's was more abrasive than mine and that was good for his corner of the square that made up The Beatles. If we'd had two people like that -- forget it -- I don't think it would have worked.
Whatever bad things John said about me, he would also slip his glasses down to the end of his nose and say, 'I love you.’ That's really what I hold on to. That's what I believe. The rest is showing off."

Paul told Radio Times Magazine, "The image of John is seriously flawed because he was not the hard, mad man that people think he was. He was a very soft-centred guy and we had a lot more in common than people think. His favorite song when we were kids was 'Little White Lies,' which was very sentimental. It was a smoochy old standard that his mum liked."

I think Rolling Stone might have caught "we think we real cool"-itis. It's cool, I've got Paste now. They know what's up.
-CE
Photo courtesy of Zimbio.

Serious Case Of "IthinkI'mRealCool"-itis.

Penn Badgely and Hillary Duff shooting a scene for Gossip Girl where Hillary plays some sort of starlet who comes to NYU and becomes Blah-Dan's love interest. Yeah right. Like that would ever happen.

But first things first: What is on his wrist? Is that a...calculator? I legitimately feel ill. Who put that on him? It is obviously for style. I can handle ugly things that have a purpose- except for fanny packs, there's no excuse for that shiz, take a backpack or a purse. But how do you even type in numbers on that? It's so tiny and fug!

That's what I'm going to start calling him now- Penn Fugly. Kind of sounds like his real name.

Seriously though, there is no reason for this to be on his wrist except for "I think I'm real cool"-itis. It's a disease sweeping the nation that I fear has no cure. Symptoms include wearing fug things for the sole purpose of being cool (i.e. skimpy dresses when it's 2 degrees outside), pretending you've heard of something (an author, musician, movie, etc.) when you have no idea, as well as raising your hand in class to use a big word you don't understand.

The last one especially has been getting on my nerves this past week.

Well, I love Hillary's dress anyways. At least someone on that set is a normal human being.
-CE
Photos courtesy of Splash News.