Gross, Why?

AGH! ICK. ehhhhck.

Those were my three reactions to this picture. I couldn't even make any actual words.

First I was scared, then grossed out, then really really grossed out.

Now I feel really sad for her, and also sad for us, because we have to look at it. 
-CE
Photo courtesy of Zimbio.

WANTED Dead or Alive: Lipdubs. Mostly Dead.

 
Lipdub at Calvin College from Rachel Kuyvenhoven on Vimeo.
There is one trend that is super pissing me off right now, and it's this one.

Lipdubs. Me= enraged.

It may be irrational, but I really don't care. Stupid snarky little faces dancing backwards...arhgdkasajflkkkk.
-CE

Leo D, the Guido.

"Jersey Shore" is taking over. Even Leonardo DiCaprio is in on it. Then again, he's Italian, so maybe he's got a little guido side of him that can excuse it. I mean, he is practically fist-pumping in this picture. What's up with that hat?

They're taking over.
-CE
Photo courtesy of JJ.

Racoon Eyes Strikes Again!

Ok I thought Taylor Momsen had moved beyond this a little. The eyes. It's worse than ever. How can anyone think this attractive? Ah, youth.

Also-- Theo and I were just discussing her main pet peeve: stars who wear rosaries around their neck. In this case, I can't say I disagree.

This is at the Soho launch of her new fragrace, "Love Rocks". Ugh. Is there no creativity anymore? 
-CE
Photo courtesy of JJ.

Mentos Moment Gone Wrong?

I guess models can't wear anything. Lily Cole in a...pant suit? At the premiere of "The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus", which she has a part in. I feel like this is one of those Mentos commercial moments, except she fugged it up real bad. See below.

Apparently she never wants to work again.
-CE

Photo courtesy of Fug.

I Gave Them My Morning and They Gave Me...Money.

The 20th Anniversary Editon of "Say Anything" came out yesterday, and to commemorate the occasion, a bunch of guys who apparently have a bunch of time on their hands went out into Washington Square park around 10:30 wearing trench coats and serenading strangers to Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes".

While this is, indeed, wonderful and romantic, it is also unfortunately a total fake. Most of the Lloyd Dobler's (sucks to be the guys who weren't) were paid to generate interest in the movie's release, and also they recieved a free copy of the movie on Blu-ray.

Take me back to 1989? At least the economy wasn't as bad and people weren't this desperate.
-CE
Photo courtesy of Cinematical.

Killing Two Birds With One Pumpkin.

Oh it is so ON. This is the ESSENCE of the Great Pumpkin Scam. Like hell she is going to carve that pumpkin. She's there for the press. Paris knows what's going on. I'm surprised it took her this long to figure it out and get her fame whoring ass on over to the pumkin patch.

Here's the best part- you know she is totally holding that pumpkin in front of her stomach so that people will speculate that she's pregnant. Yuck.

Jokes on her- no one cares.
-CE
Photo courtesy of Splash.

Street Corner Chic.

Some of you have been defending Taylor Momsen and her Kiss-inspired makeup and lady marmalade-dressing ways, and this picture, well...I believe the correct phrase is 'told you so'.

This is Taylor arriving at what I think must be the best little whore house in New York, I mean, what else could it be with the lacy pink curtains, candles and that Mata Hari outfit she's wearing.

What is with the dead eyes? It's the eyes more than anything that scream prostitute. Those are the eyes of someone who has been rode hard and put away wet. I wonder what it's like to be used and abused before twenty?

History really does repeat itself, I believe this is how people must have felt in the 90's watching Courtney Love. And we all know how that turned out. 
-CE
Photo courtesy of Fug.

Yo Ho Yo Ho...

"The Beautiful Life" was recently cancelled. Mischa Barton has apparently taken this as a cue to start dressing like a pirate. Arrg.

Also, I hope that she and that guy are trying to hail a cab together, because otherwise she is in serious violation of cab etiquette. You know it's her too. She would totally step in front of this guy and try to steal his cab. You see the look on her face, she knows it. And he looks kind of pissed, so yeah. I would knock that stupid Snapple out of her hand if she did that to me. It's probably full of brandy anyways.

I mean, she'd have to be drunk to walk out onto the street like that.

Oh, and what is cab etiquette you might be wondering? Check out below to have dear Andy explain it to you. Go to 2:10 for the relevant part. 
-CE

Photo courtesy of Wenn.

Gossip Girl's Down.

At first glance I thought her legs were bleeding. Jeez. Hate Serena's outfit. What's the point of wearing a coat if you're wearing an outfit that does not imply cold?

And then there is Little J.

 I almost feel bad for her here. But this is what happens when you subsist on nothing but air and candy flavored vodka. Apparently she's sick with something and a doctor had to be called to set.
-CE
Photo courtesy of Pacific Coast News.

Orange Makes Me Angry.

Orange makes me angry. People know this. If I see someone wearing orange I freak out.

Am I wrong? Does anyone look at the color orange and go, "oh that's attractive." See, even in this hypothetical situation I read that as sarcastic. Orange= fug. And the color is only the first thing that's wrong with this outfit.

So as much as I love "Arrested Development" alum Alia Shawkat, I hate this.
-CE
Photo courtesy of Fug.

Fugly Perez.

What the fug is up with Perez Hilton? He is turning crazy with all this fame. He is literally turning into a charicature of himself. This is definitely a SEVERE case of I think I'm too cool-itis.
I mean, lets be serious...Ew. Pasty gross man legs do not equal not wearing pants. With a child's nightgown as a shirt no less. I repeat: Ew.

Yes, those are the Real Housewives of New York. You notice that no one above the C list reality show level was at this "CoCo Perez" party. Maybe it's a bit too hasty to think you're too cool for pants.

The worst part is, he posted these on his own website. He WANTED people to see these. He needs to stop hanging out with Lady Mi Mo.
-CE
Photos courtesy of Perez.

Lady Mi Mo.

I have nothing to say about this. Hence the cracked out title. It stands for Lady Minnie Mouse. Duh. I know, I know, I'm ridiculous, but seriously...I have no words except to say, why in the world would she try to make herself look MORE like a rat?

I will never understand.
-CE

Like Looking into a Mirror.

 

Is anyone really surprised at this? I'm surprised it hasn't happened sooner. This is Taylor Momsen and Lindsay Lohan at the G Star Spring 2010 fashion show in New York City on Monday. 

It's like looking in a future mirror. Also, Lindsay is wearing those same no-pants stockings that Taylor was wearing just the other day that Theo commented on.

Do you see the pout? Who really looks like that? If someone started staring at me like  

-CE

Photo courtesy of Just Jared.

Baby Sparrow.

Just when I was about to claim some semblance of respect for Nicole Richie, she goes and has her baby (a boy) and names it Sparrow. My sister used to love the name Tristan for a boy, and my mother would say, "That kid is going to get beaten up." Tristan is boarder line, but Sparrow? If that kid was raised anywhere but Hollywood...I think even that is stretching it. He totally might get beaten up. I would beat myself up if my name was Sparrow.

Sparrow James Midnight Madden.

Yeah, ok. Someone has a case of "I think I'm real cool". Luckily after a lifetime of degradation about his name, the kid probably won't ever have that problem.
-CE
Photo courtesy of Splash.

The Decline.

Is it just me or does David Schwimmer look like his own particular brand of crazy? He must be the only guy in the world who looks worse without the slicked up spiky hair cut. Also, oddly tan. It looks nothing like him, right?

The decline of Friends has not been kind to poor David.
-CE
Photo courtesy of Splash News.

Trannie Hall.

I'm sorry Boy George? Who the hell do you think you are? Annie Hall? Sit DOWN Taylor Momsen. You think you real cool, but you're not.

You were Cindy Lou Who in The Grinch. You are SO not cool. And can we say bad weave? Bad weave Taylor Momsen.
-CE
Photo courtesy of Zimbio.

Fug Mug.

This is John Mayer's mugshot from 2001 when he was arrested for driving with a suspended license. John challenged TMZ's head boss Harvey Levin to find the mugshot, and if he did, John would donate 25,000 to the charity of Levin's choice. I might add, all of this was done over Twitter, which is of course, slightly more binding than a pinky swear but slightly less than double doggie dare.

Don't ever let John Mayer tell you he hates the limelight. The paparazzi are his friends. Now that he doesn't have Jennifer Aniston anymore he has to resort to this to get some attention.

Well, it was a big to-do because TheSmokingGun.com found the mug shot first, and TMZ was...displeased. And I quote:

"Bottom line--here's what John said on Twitter: 'if Harvey Levin at TMZ can produce my mugshot, I will pay 25k to the charity of his choice'. We found the mugshot, so pay up John."

Doesn't this picture look like one of those 'face in the hole' things? Legit or not legit, that is the question.
-CE
Photo courtesy of Splash News.

Serious Case Of "IthinkI'mRealCool"-itis.

Penn Badgely and Hillary Duff shooting a scene for Gossip Girl where Hillary plays some sort of starlet who comes to NYU and becomes Blah-Dan's love interest. Yeah right. Like that would ever happen.

But first things first: What is on his wrist? Is that a...calculator? I legitimately feel ill. Who put that on him? It is obviously for style. I can handle ugly things that have a purpose- except for fanny packs, there's no excuse for that shiz, take a backpack or a purse. But how do you even type in numbers on that? It's so tiny and fug!

That's what I'm going to start calling him now- Penn Fugly. Kind of sounds like his real name.

Seriously though, there is no reason for this to be on his wrist except for "I think I'm real cool"-itis. It's a disease sweeping the nation that I fear has no cure. Symptoms include wearing fug things for the sole purpose of being cool (i.e. skimpy dresses when it's 2 degrees outside), pretending you've heard of something (an author, musician, movie, etc.) when you have no idea, as well as raising your hand in class to use a big word you don't understand.

The last one especially has been getting on my nerves this past week.

Well, I love Hillary's dress anyways. At least someone on that set is a normal human being.
-CE
Photos courtesy of Splash News.

C-Bale Beat Down?

UGH. Theo was right. Megan Fox is said to have signed on to play Catwoman in the sequel to The Dark Knight. So basically this hoe gets to work with Michael Caine and Christian Bale. C-Bale is not having any of it. I can tell you that right now- there will be some kind of melt down on his end from her mouthy idiotness.

Angelina Jolie was apparently in negotiations for the role, and I think we can all agree that she would have been a much better choice. Unless...you don't think she was passed up because she's too old? Megan "Swampthang" Fox has more sex appeal than the original herself? Can't be.

She and Christian would actually have to...kiss. Gross. Nay, repulsive. Like, I just threw up a little. Guaranteed my sister is pulling out her hair as we speak- Christian Bale is sacred to her.

I am still hoping this is just a rumor. Or C-Bale freaks out and gets her banned from making movies. That would be wonderful.

In the meantime, lets revisit one of my favorite moments- Seth Rogan talks about how he was just completely rejected by Megan Fox.
-CE

Photo courtesy of Zimbio.