It's Britney, Bitch

Okay, it's Theo. But, I like the way her name sounds better. It's Theo, Bitch... Not the same... at all. So, I guess I'll catch yall up on my life. I'm currently watching Gossip Girl. There's a new/old love triangle between Dan, Nate and Blake Lively. Yup, I know what I said. If the show was based on this picture, I don't think it would be a tough choice. Anyway, I'll be posting regularly for now on. And, by regularly I mean at least three a week.

-TM
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Miss You!

I miss this Penn Badgley. He wasn't trying to be sexy, and yet he is. Now, he's all emo and moody. I like old Penn. New Penn... not so much.

-TM
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John Mayer 2.0

I...literally almost threw up when I saw this picture. I mean, euchhh. Who does Penn Badgley think he is? Look at this quote, because we have another John Mayer on our hands-

On musicians he admires: “D’Angelo is a god to me. I mean, people hear that from me, and they’re always like, ‘Oh, but he got so messed up.’ Who cares? Listen to Voodoo. That’s a record. You know, I listen to it sometimes, and I wonder, maybe you have to be messed up to make art like that. Maybe you’ve got to destroy yourself. Or have that thing that destroys you.”

Dude. You're on "Gossip Girl". A shitty CW show. Before that? "John Tucker Must Die". You are fine, trust. No where near the kind of art that would even stub your toe. 

Why do these people constantly feel the need to show how cool they THINK they are in our faces? He and Blake Lively's legs deserve each other.

-CE

Photos courtesy of JJ.

Lamest Costumes EVER.

Blake Lively and Penn Badgley were out at NYC hotspot 1Oak last night, and were dressed to un-impress.

Really Blake. Really. I saw about a hundred flight attendants out last night, and I can't understand it. Has anyone else ever flown on a plane?

Flight attendants hate their lives. They are either grumpy and mean or weird and jittery. Why would anyone, on a night where they can be anything, dress up as a flight attendant? Lame.

Slightly less lame was her boyfriend, Penn Badgley, who didn't even have a real costume. 

“I don’t know! I’m a half-assed someone. It was a really last minute costume."

What I want to know is how he has a handlebar mustache just like, sitting around somewhere. That scares me. 

-CE

Photos courtesy of JJ.

Still Not Seeing It.

Penn Badgley on the cover of another magazine. I'm glad his shirt is on this time. But, are you seeing his sexiness yet? I'm not. I guess I'll have to look for it on tonight's episode!! Court will be happy to know that Dan's fashion faux pas is explained in this episode.
-TM

Oh thank God there's a reason. A stupid reason, but one none the less. Dan doesn't need a compliment watch though, he is already insanely full of himself. Yuck. 
-CE 

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Embrace It.

We like to remember old Gossip Girl times. Remember "Lonely Boy," the quirky Penn Badgley always sulking and pale. Well, now, Penn wants to be Chace -the heartthrob. First, he got some sun and a girlfriend, Blake Lively. Then, better hair and few pounds.

I wish he'd just embrace his odd ball character and work it. Look at Tina Fey (30 Rock) and Jane Lynch (Glee), total character actors, but they aren't fighting it.

Now, he's working to transition over to the big screen with The Stepfather. Have you seen the preview, it looks like shit. Totally one of the films that I'd still through thinking, "Why has no one called the cops by now."
-TM
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Then, Don't Do It.

What is it with these people? Did Gossip Girl just cast people that aren't actors, but ARTIST? Penn Badgley gave an interview to Just Jared recently talking about a "kind of weird" tattoo he wants to get...

A "kind of weird" tattoo... Seriously, you're still considering getting it? He goes on to say:
  

It’s weird. I’m sure everybody who reads this is going to be, like, “What the f*** is he thinking?” It’s a design that kind of goes up this way (he touches his rib cage underneath his right armpit). It’s weird and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get it.

 Then, do not get the tattoo. I solved that problem easily.

People are going to think 'what the f***'! Shouldn't that clue you into something!! I don't know what else to say. Didn't he see Ed Westwick?

-TM

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Ragtime.

What is going on over at GG? I have a feeling I am going to hate this episode, whatever this is. I really hope it's not like that One Tree Hill episode that Chad Michael Murray wrote. This shiz was messed UP.

Also had a 20's moonshine smuggling theme I think. Theo can tell you more, she actually watched it. But if this is like it, I am forever cutting Gossip Girl out of my life. I mean it this time.
-CE
Photo courtesy of Just Jared.

Elephant Art.

Gossip Girl fans are counting down to the premiere on Monday Sept. 14th with our favorite boring couple, on the show and in real life.

Not quite as boring as I thought though- for some reason I always thought of them just hanging out in coffee shops and attending plays, operas, thinking they're real cool (itis) stuff like that. This is along that line of thinking, but on a much higher level than I ever expected from them. I love it when boring people surprise me.

Penn and Blake went to Tailand earlier this year- what a date. Very pretentious bohemian, but still impressive. I mean, real bohemians can't afford to pay $300 He said, “Surprisingly, the most spiritual thing [Blake and I did in Thailand] was riding the elephants. They are incredible creatures and I honestly wasn’t expecting it. They’re unbelievably smart and communicative. I literally had a physical feeling in my chest. It was religious, nearly - I’m not religious but riding them was unbelievable.”

Blake Lively is apparently an art fiend, and in fact Penn got her "a painting from a Russian street artist," for her birthday. How bon vivant of him. But nothing could compare to this,

“The elephants paint, man! It’s really mind-blowing. We paid $300 for six hours with our own elephant each. We rode them into the river, we bathed them, got back on them, rode them into the jungle and they painted! Blake's painting is beautiful. Mine didn’t come out so well.

I really want some elephant art. The day has come where I am jealous of boring Penn Badgley whose father named him after tennis balls- really, it's true. So I'm jealous of THAT guy. The epitome of the brown jacket guy.
-CE
Photo courtesy of Just Jared.

Serious Case Of "IthinkI'mRealCool"-itis.

Penn Badgely and Hillary Duff shooting a scene for Gossip Girl where Hillary plays some sort of starlet who comes to NYU and becomes Blah-Dan's love interest. Yeah right. Like that would ever happen.

But first things first: What is on his wrist? Is that a...calculator? I legitimately feel ill. Who put that on him? It is obviously for style. I can handle ugly things that have a purpose- except for fanny packs, there's no excuse for that shiz, take a backpack or a purse. But how do you even type in numbers on that? It's so tiny and fug!

That's what I'm going to start calling him now- Penn Fugly. Kind of sounds like his real name.

Seriously though, there is no reason for this to be on his wrist except for "I think I'm real cool"-itis. It's a disease sweeping the nation that I fear has no cure. Symptoms include wearing fug things for the sole purpose of being cool (i.e. skimpy dresses when it's 2 degrees outside), pretending you've heard of something (an author, musician, movie, etc.) when you have no idea, as well as raising your hand in class to use a big word you don't understand.

The last one especially has been getting on my nerves this past week.

Well, I love Hillary's dress anyways. At least someone on that set is a normal human being.
-CE
Photos courtesy of Splash News.