Thursday, February 2, 2012

Beauty and the Fine

Weeks before her SNL performance, Just Jared was posting about Lana Del Rey. Without fail, I would wonder 'who is this girl?' or 'did I miss something?'. My original assumption was that she was an internet star whose YouTube video had completely passed by me. But, thanks to Lorne Michaels, we've all been exposed to way too much of Ms. Rey (Del Rey?). I don't want to post the video, so here's a link to it. Let's just call it awful. It was the kind of bad that made me think it was a sketch.

Back to the reason I'm posting this, Rey is on the cover of next month's British Vogue. Say what you will about Anna Wintour, we all know she would never let this shit fly.

On the plus side, I get to make fun of the cover.

The main thing that pops out at me is the photo they chose. It's pathetically tragic, actually limp is the word I want to use. Can you imagine how much the others must have sucked? She looks so dead. Yup, she looks like death which makes the fact that they call her "the fascinating Lana Del Rey" even better.

Apparently, she's just as awful at speaking as she is singing. Here is a old quote about her train wreck of a performance:
"I actually felt good about it. I thought I looked beautiful and sang fine ... There's backlash about everything I do. It's nothing new. When I walk outside, people have something to say about it. It wouldn't have matter if I was absolutely excellent."
Lana Del Rey wants to be a singer, right? Like, that's why she's singing on SNL. So, why? Why would you say something so vapid and dumb like "I looked beautiful and sang fine"? And then, follow it up with "it wouldn't have mattered if I was absolutely excellent." The worst part is the tone. She clearly thinks she's made it and that's she's someone. This is the kind of stuff that people hate Gwyneth Paltrow for. Except, GP would never say she sang just "fine".

Her album Born to Die...yep... is number one on iTunes. Normally, this would make me want to give up on society, but it's not selling over any new major albums. Beating Adele's 21 would be huge if it hadn't come out on February 26th, 2011.

I guess what I'm trying to say is SIT DOWN, LDR.

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