Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Hat Hair.

Madonna already happened, get over it. No one becomes great with insane haircuts. I hate people who say stuff like, "my body is a canvas, i am a living work of art..." that's not a direct quote, but it sounds like something she would say. I don't care if Kanye thinks she's cool enough to co-headline a tour with him. He's one of these people too. They belong together, so his opinion doesn't mean shiz.

Her head looks like a helicopter pad for toys. Or something you would rest a pizza on. I mean, I know it's difficult to find a hat that looks good, but this is going a little overboard. Maybe she's going for a French painter look though...I mean she has a...what, paintbrush in her hand? Don't know why. At first I thought she was eating yogurt.

Sad thing? For a while I thought that if I got a tattoo, it would be a peace sign on the underside of my wrist. I even drew it there in marker and left it for a few days. No more. This is why you don't get tattoos, because someday some poseur pop artist will show up with the same thing and you automatically become a follower of HER genius. Barf.


--Photo courtesy of WENN.com

Blur is Back.

British pop/alternative legends Blur rolled back the clock to those totally clueless years, the 90's, when they closed the Glastonbury Festival on Sunday night. This was the first gig of their so- called comeback, in front of the 200,000 festival goers.

For those of you who need a refresher, they're probably most well known for Song 2, which is consistently played at sporting events around the country now, and really their only American hit. It's one of those, if you hear it, you'll recognize it songs. Also, Charmless Man is one of my favorites, for those of you looking to reminisce. They had a little chart war with Oasis back in the day, so if you're a fan of Britpop, you probably know all this already. Their guitarist, Graham Coxon left the group to pursue other interests, and the others, after doing a tour without him, did the same and haven't been back together until...well, now.

Fingers crossed, because I hear there is some musings of a new album. Score.


--Photo courtesy of WENN.com

Save Paste.

At the beginning of the summer, facebook brought me to the world of Paste Magazine. I had heard about it before, seen Paste on the shelves, but I have a subscription to Rolling Stone and never felt the urge to shell out the five bucks to buy Paste. Like most poor people, I read my magazines not in my own home, but in bookstore coffee shops, and grocery store check out lines. Le sigh, magazines are a luxury to which I cannot afford.

But my point. It appears that Paste has been suffering, like most magazines in this economic climate, and they decided to start a "Save Paste" campaign. Turning to the musicians who were loyal to them and the fans/readers of the magazine to help. So, if you donated to this Save Paste fund, you instantly gained access to a rare music library that artists donated songs to, or songs from the Paste vault. Hundreds of songs, free. Well, free with a donation. Mine was for five dollars...I felt bad, but give what you can, right?

After I raided this music vault of goodies, I became a fan of Paste on facebook, and of course started getting all the status updates. I love it. How could I not have known about this amazing magazine before? For the past month or so I have been completely anamored, sharing with my friends (including slumblog creator, Sarah J. http://slumblogsojo.blogspot.com/)
Well today, they have declared in honor of one of my favorite bands, Wilco. Their upcoming CD is entitled Wilco (The Band) so naturally, today is called Wilco (The Takeover). They have music streams, stories from the road, previous articles, pictures, review of the new album, and "Five of Our Favorite Non-Sensical Wilco Lyrics".

They are also huge Arrested Development fans.

Check it out my friends. Love Paste, Save Paste.




It was too long. I felt like half the movie was "the heroes" slow motion running away from explosions. There was plenty of action movie stereotypes like that- everyone was slightly sweaty at all times, while being tossed around like rag dolls and not getting injured. Somehow being dropped from about 40 stories up is no problem. It's all good.

They then spend approximately two hours to build up to this big battle, where Optimus Prime (SPOILER ALERT!!! ahaha) comes back to life and is supposed to defeat "The Fallen" in this huge, epic battle. No epic-ness. The whole thing took like two seconds. I had no doubt whatsoever that Optimus would prevail. It's like, they suddenly realized that they had two hours of movie and had to wrap it up. Cop out.

Was it entertaining? Yes. It was funny, although sometimes in places where I'm not sure it was meant to be, like when somehow a goat jumped off a roof, and I was like, "did anyone just see that...goat? Jump off the roof?" PETA will be all over that. I can see the headlines now: Transformers is BAAAAA-d for Non-Flying Goats. Hehe.
Luckily for Megan Fox she didn't have too many lines in the movie (shocker), just a lot of running and making a pout face while shaking her hair loose- which reminds me, who wears Daisy Dukes with Frye boots (ha, that rhymed!), and then hops on a motorcycle? That is the image of the female role model of our generation. Sad thing? I'm not even sure if I'm kidding. Anyways. She stayed tolerable, and Shia LeBoeuf stayed where he belongs, at the end of the list. My sleep will have no Shia interloper tonight.


Monday, June 29, 2009

Role Model? Yeah, No.

"If your idea of a role model is somebody who’s gonna preach to your kids that sex before marriage is wrong and cursing is wrong and women should be this and be that, then I’m not a role model. But if you want your girls to feel strong and intelligent and be outspoken and fight for what they think is right, then I want to be that type of role model, yeah.”

- Transformers Megan Fox tells the Times of London

If your idea of a role model is the epitome of everything that pisses me off, such as being the most illiterate fame whore since Avril Lavigne...then you are that type of role model. Yeah.

Going to see Transformers tonight. Here's what I'm hoping for. Megan angering me will stay in the fun, 'I can make fun of her' phase, and NOT enter into the danger zone headache phase. Also, I am hoping my Shia crush does not grow. Please God in heaven, keep my Shia crush the tiny irksome thing it is now.

If I have even one Le Sigh Shia dream tonight, I'm not waking up. My body will just automatically shut down. Transformers is already costing me more than $8.00.


--Photos courtesy of gettyimages.com

Sunday, June 28, 2009

The Piece.

He was once Scuds, or Scudsy. Now because of one slip up, he is "The Piece". Oh man, that is priceless.

He had an awesome... no, a nearly impossibly great game in Game 6 of the Detroit series, where he literally got down on his knees, into goalie position to stop three last ditch efforts by the Red Wings while Marc-Andre was off chasing a butterfly or something. Maybe he saw something shiny. Oh, I'm kidding. I love Marc- Andre, and Lord knows my mother would trade me in a second for him. Literally. You can see it in her eyes when she laughs at an interview, and I think she's even mused it aloud when she thought I wasn't paying attention.

But I digress. So Rob Scuderi had this awesome game, and in the interview afterwards, he said, "I am just THE piece of a puzzle." What he meant to say, of course, is that he is A piece of the puzzle. I'm sure he'll never live it down. Not if Jordan Staal has anything to do with it. Our first blog was on that video, I've reattached it below, in order to celebrate some could be great news.

Rob Scuderi became a free agent this year. Everyone was pretty much accepting the fact that he was going to be on his merry way because, basically, with so much talent on the team...they can't afford to pay him near what he could get somewhere else.This is where God sent me hope, brought me back from the funk Evgeni Malkin put me in. I thought... all was lost. That all those pro sports star stereotypes were creeping into hockey and sucking the lifeblood out of it. That's right- lifeblood. But then dear, dear Rob, or The Piece, as he is now called, gave me hope. Saved the day in a huge and unexpected way, like he did in that fateful game 6.

These are quotes from an interview with Ron Cook:
"I've never been the type to just chase the money," he said. "I've seen too many guys go for the highest contract and end up in a bad situation and be completely upset for three or four years. I don't want that happening to me. It's no fun going somewhere and losing, especially after you've been spoiled playing here. That would be just miserable."

How cool is he? Definitely deserving of his awesome nickname. Luvs.

"We'll see what happens," Scuderi said. "I told Ray (Shero, Pittsburghs GM) in our exit meeting that I'd give Pitt the last shot. I'll take him the offer I'm most comfortable with and say, 'How close can we get?'

Just like that my faith is restored in hockey. A closed door led me to an open window. Why did I ever doubt?

...yech. I just remembered why. Thank God for Scuds. The Piece. Whatever. The important part of the video is around the 40 second mark. Enjoy.

Go America?

I think it was Courtney who said that people that say, "Go America" aren't to be trusted. But, with Wimbledon and the Confederations Cup going on, who should I cheer for?

I always root for the Florida teams, unless I have a tie to their opponent. So, why shouldn't I do that for tennis and soccer this weekend?

So... Go America!

With the Williams sisters getting older, Andy Roddick robbing the cradle and marrying a 20 year old model (original, no?) and James Blake just doing whatever he does, I’m going to cheer for Melanie Oudin. Oudin was an unknown outside of tennis people, until she beat a former number 1 in the world. And, to top it off, SHE’S AN AMERICAN!

I hope Andy Murray wins too! He’s the scot that has weight of the entire United Kingdom to deliver a championship, the first since the 1930’s.

I like underdogs.

Anyways, Go America and Andy Murray! WooWhoooo.


Um, I would just like to stand up for myself here, I believe what Theo is referring to is my use of "Go America!" as a metaphor for an attitude of people.

Basically what I was saying is best said in the Chris Rock movie
Head of State. "God Bless America, and No Place Else!". Haha. Sorry. It's a funny movie. Next time it's on tv, it's totally worth the channel change.

Anyways, I didn't mean it literally, like for sports teams. I totally am all "Go America!" for Wimbledon and soccer (football!), or whatever else is going on. However- just because I am an American doesn't mean that I feel totally obligated to root for American teams. I review carefully first, deciding which team deserves my loyalty.

And yes, it is an honor to have my loyalty.


***And as a sidenote, on a semi- related topic: if you're traveling abroad. Do not wear a shirt with a flag and Go America! on it. I am against that. Fully and literally.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Tale As Old As Time.

Ordinary boy becomes sports star. Girls with orange skin and light blond hair start circling. Sports star boy becomes blinded by their hair, while simultaneously disoriented by their cloying perfume. Boy will now see his millions wash away on weekly-nay- daily beauty regimens, "cute" cars, and lots and lots of alcohol. It's the skank energy drink.

When I started watching hockey, I believed that it was different. I believed that the hoochie lovin', bling wearing stereotype wouldn't reach. Sadly, it is alive in well in one of my favorite players, Pittsburgh's Evgeni Malkin. Geno, M-V-P.

It just goes to show- broken English may sound sweet, but don't trust it under any circumstances. He could be having a hard time expressing his love of dogs (or blogs :D ) OR he could be trying to tell you how much he likes...I don't know, throwing parties on his yacht for "ladies". Something gross like that. Lesson learned the hard way: treat broken english the way you would an injured dog in your backyard. Proceed with caution, it could be a sweet puppy, or you might get rabies. Or whatever else disease this Russian trollep is toating around.

Seriously, did she get attacked by a shark, or dressed in the dark? Because that is not the way any bathing suit should be worn. Ever. I'm not even disappointed anymore. Just grossed out. Hope he doesn't give any fast- spreading hoe disease to Sid.


Friday, June 26, 2009

The Penguins Select...

Quebecois defensemen Simon Despres in the first round of the NHL Repêchage (Draft) tonight in Montreal. Although not as adorable as most of the teammates he's going to join (in a couple of years, so maybe he'll cuten up by then), at 6' 3", 210 lbs, this kid is a force to be reckoned with. Although, if I have learned anything from this, my first year of watching the NHL draft, it's that all hockey players, no matter how slim, have huge asses. They almost look fake. They're unreal, like...every overindulged housewife's dream. Except in the back. And down farther.

Ahem. Anyways. A nice surprise was our very own Kristopher LeTang, a native Montreal...ian (?) was there to enjoy the draft atmosphere. The year Kris was drafted was after the lockout, so he didn't have the special joy of sweating it out in front of an arena full of strangers- he had to do it at home in front of the telephone.

"It was great to get drafted. I wish I could have been there. I've been watching the draft since I was really young. It's a great experience and you want to live through those. That's why I came today to live that."

Aw what a cutie. Honestly, he could of said he came because he wanted to pull a Carrie and lock all the doors and burn everyone inside, and I would have sighed with love. He is just too adorable.

I need to snap out of it. At least until hockey season starts in the fall. More updates after tomorrow nights' selection.



In an effort to watch a little Sports Soup on Versus, I stumbled upon a little bit of NHL draft. The first thing that came to mind was : "Wow, poor hockey."

As we mentioned earlier, the NBA draft started Thursday night with Blake Griffin being drafted by the LA Clippers (yes, LA has another basketball team.)

The clippers are always last and have never had a following, because everyone is a Laker fan, duh. This got me thinking, is Blake Griffin the Sidney Crosby for the Clippers? Hockey is like that the son who has a chess match during the state championship for football. You want to watch both, and chess has insanely passionate followers, but most people (before watching chess) would go with football.

As someone who was recently turned on to hockey (or chess...), I wish there was a more mainstream outlet for others to get a chance to see. Versus isn't that popular, my mom thought it was Logo, the gay, lesiban and transgender channel for a while.

On that note, maybe hockey and chess deserve more ESPN Sportscenter love.


Coconut Records.

I first heard of Coconut Records when I found a free download of Microphone on Amie Street, a great independent music downloading site (http://amiestreet.com/) and fell in love with it. I found out that it was actually Jason Schwartzman, formerly of one of my other favorite west coast bands, Phantom Planet, brother of another one of my favorite west coast bands, Rooney. He has also starred in Marie Antoinette, The Darjeeling Limited, and I Heart Huckabees.

New singles have been filtering out ever since and have been consistently impressing me. I even bought West Coast from emusic (http://www.emusic.com/), another independent music site after I found it. Which trust me, purchasing a song is definite LIKE for me. I have to be insanely smitten to fork over the 99 cents for iTunes (and unable to find it cheaper anywhere else), and absolutely, head over heels in luuuurvvvv to buy an actual entire CD. Don't judge. I'm poor. The upside- if you give me some choice music? I'm your best friend for life.

Anyways: the point is, Coconut Records is bomb. Check it out. I've posted the new video for Any Fun featuring Chloe Sevigny below. I love the style. Black and white boho is chic.


Any Fun - Coconut Records - Music Video

How Could I Not Have Known?

I am in love with Johnny Depp. It's like in Pride and Prejudice, when all of a sudden, Lizzy just realizes that she was in love with Darcy, all the while.

Well, not quite, but you get the idea.

That quiet smile, unassuming. He looks slightly surprised when people laugh at his little jokes. He's maybe a bit nervous, he keeps fiddling with his rings, running his hands through his hair. But it's adorable how he laughs with David, a genuine laugh with a quick clap.

Just a genuine, nice, unassuming guy. Normally I would find that pirate/gypsy thing he has going annoying, but on him it's real. No imitation. If anything, I now realize that I've just been annoyed with the Johnny imitators. He is the real deal. Even David knows it. He and everyone else wants to be Johnny's Bahamian buddy. Hang out with him in that brackish lake on his private island. Not fishing, while watching out for barracudas.

He also has new tattoo on his arm that he got while filming The Rum Diaries back in April, that says "Silence exile cunning", a quote from Portrait of the Artist As a Young Man by James Joyce. Le sigh. More reason to love him- not many men can realistically pull off tattoos. That and the $4000 tip he gave a grateful waiter at a restaurant a few days ago.

The downside of this happy moment in my day? Some idiot scheduled Megan Fox on the same night as Johnny, so that gross swamp thing probably got to meet him. Ugh. I was lukewarm on her, and then I started watching this and became immediately and permanently disgusted with her.

She starts off condoning dropping out of school, claiming she has "problems with authority" in that whiny voice that I don't know how anyone could listen to even in an hour and a half movie. But wait- she graduated top of her class in correspondence school. Beauty and brains.

She also is a liar. Says her first job was Confession of a Teenage Drama Queen with Lindsay Lohan. We all know that it was Holiday in the Sun with Mary- Kate and Ashley. You're not fooling anyone Megan Fox. We will always remember.

I've always hated this sentiment, but of anyone, she truly just needs to sit and be pretty.



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Thursday, June 25, 2009

"Your mother gave it to me..."

With the NBA draft beginning tonight, the Cleveland Cavaliers finally decided to announce what everyone knew was coming anyways: Shaquille O'Neal and LeBron James are now teammates. I, personally, am torn about this merger of two basketball greats. Both want and are capable of being the center of attention.

Can two personalities like that ever really get along?

And, how long will Shaq be able to hold on- he's like 37 or something? I say, long enough to tell Kobe to suck it and when another championship with this years MVP, James.

The best thing about this for people from Cleveland is that hopefully almost fifty years of professional team choking ends. For the rest of us, we can look forward to some badass dance moves from both Shaq and LeBron... but mainly Shaq because he is as much as an entertainer as a basketball player. Like, really, who doesn’t remember Kazaam? Actually, I don’t despite the fact that I saw it. But, I like to think that’s a good thing after watching this.


PS- watch both videos. the second is straight from the suns website.


I would like to point out that the little kid in Kazaam was Eli "Weevil" Navarro on the late, great Veronica Mars.

And some of us loved Kazaam. And remember it every day of our lives. Ahem, but as a person from Cleveland, I say...bring the dramz. It can only make Lebron step up his game. King James has a challenge to his crown, now that's entertainment. -CE


I once thought Shia Labeouf was the epitome of this creeper mantra. I mean, don't get me wrong, I always enjoy him in movies, but...yuck. It was something I was so sure of... and now there is doubt. My resolve is shaken. Besides his general attitude, I'll take you back and show you where I first got this impression. June 2008 GQ article, and I quote:

“I’ve been in love with every woman I’ve ever worked with (Megan Fox, Sarah Roemer and Michelle Monaghan). [But] there’s the three-month attention span that actors have. I don’t know if it’s mutual, but I really don’t care. They have to kiss me when ‘action’ gets called, anyway, so I’ll get what I want.”

Gross. I guess I don't know why it turned me off of him SO much, but then here we are, a year later, and I'm watching this, turning my head, and going, 'yeah, I get that. I wouldn't fight it.'

It worries me. Am I fickle? So easily swayed that him being nice to a fan (on a morning talkshow no less) is endearing? Charming, even? Also, I didn't find her annoying. Normally I roll my eyes and move onto something else when the shaking, teary fan comes on. She even makes him shout out to her friends...which I have to admit he pulled off with grace and humor. Still, no malice on my part. I thought she had a cute reaction. Maybe it was that I liked her outfit, her "meeting Shia outfit". More likely those crazy twi-hards are making other fans seem downright indifferent. Another thing I can blame them for.

But here's the rub, even in my newfound charity. She comes out, hands him his coffee and he says, "Oh, I wish I had a chair to offer you!"

You do LaDouche. It's called your own. Merideth Viera, who is half-past 50 is sitting on the floor and a young action star couldn't stand? I mean, he's short enough. Not like he would be out of frame or anything.

Maybe this is a passing phase. He'll say something weird, like he finds his mother attractive (Playboy, this year) next month and I'll start gagging everytime his name is mentioned again. All will be right in the world. I did however like his outfit in the picture above. I would wear it. Feel like it's a little lame though, like he thinks he's BA because he got a Dylan/pot reference through airport security.

Uh huh. Sure.



Zooey Deschanel. Of the folk duo She and Him (with M. Ward being the Him) and other small and random movies (Including Almost Famous, my favorite). If I somehow landed in a movie where something crazy happened and I ended up switching bodies with someone, I would want that someone to be Zooey.

Seriously, how adorable is she? Has an awesome voice, good actress, has that whole Snow White fair skin/dark hair thing going on. Most of all, she was in a Oliver Peoples campaign with one of my top five loves, Matt Costa last year, directed by Autumn De Wilde. I've attached it below.

But I digress into envy. She and Joseph Gordon- Levitt have a movie coming out on July 17th called 500 Days of Summer. Heard it is divine, and that Joseph G-L is awesome in it. Definitely a metamorphasis from his 3rd Rock from the Sun days. Even 10 Things I Hate About You. Hmm.A pattern emerges. He does a lot of work with numbers in the title. Maybe it's coincidence, maybe he's eccentric? Wonder if he makes them change movie titles just to suit his crazy superstition. Doubt it, he doesn't seem the type, but it's a fun thought.

This movie might be my favorite of the whole summer. Doesn't have much competition besides Harry Potter, but still.


--Photos courtesy of gettyimages.com

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

We're So Downtown...

NYC Prep can basically be summed up in one sentence: "Money flows...like the wind," courtesy of P.C., the self-absorbed wanna-be male Blair of the group. Aspires to be an actor. Not shocking.

About half way through, Jessie, the bitchy fugly girl of the show, is discussing clothing with her friend:

Friend: "I wear stuff that's under $20 sometimes..."
Jessie: "That's because you're so downtown."

Theo and I are very downtown. Apparently.

All of these kids on doing this show for a reason. Kelli (with an i- that says it all), wants to be a singer...not happening. Camille wants to use it to fluff her college resume. Sebastian, oh dear Sebastian. He is the creepy, wanna be surfer dude who is on the show to get girls, because that is his self proclaimed "passion". Plans on getting married when he's 60...maybe 70. Jessie wants to do the show because P.C is doing the show. Taylor wants to be popular. Although she already considers herself popular- but doesn't like to say it. Simple motives for simple minded people.

Theo and I are making a proclamation right now: Sebastian is the breakout star of this show. All these people are relatively boring, while Sebastian's struggle with his grand delusions over his height will be the most interesting story line of the whole show. Short guys who think they're tall...classic. And the blazer/jeans/sneakers combo he sports says pretty much everything about him, and his hair fills in the rest.

-CE & TM

The Proposal

If there was one reason to go see The Proposal, it would be Betty White. I think Theo and I have already made it clear how much we love her, I mean, how can you not? Her timing is flawless, and she stole the movie. No argument, there were a lot of funny moments in this, but Betty somehow makes the corny/expected moments in any romantic comedy funny. Stuff you would, if anyone else said it, roll your eyes at and sigh- when Betty says it, the entire theater explodes laughing.

Sandra Bullock, of course, is her normal funny/pretty/charming self. I am a personal fan, and wasn't disappointed. I know Theo doesn't really care for her too much, but even if you aren't a Sandra fan... the movie won't disappoint. She and Ryan also have a great chemistry together, and really are funny together. I mean, the love story was a bit far fetched...but what did we really expect from this?
We all know what this movie is: a Sunday afternoon romantic comedy you take your mom or grandma to. You don't have to think about it too much, it's just fun. It is the perfect movie for that, hands down. For what it is, this is a four-star romantic comedy. Not a four star movie, but at least it doesn't lie and pretend to be something more meaningful, like any Jennifer Aniston movie out there.

Most important thing to remember? Betty is bomb.


Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Johnny et Marion ègale de perfection. Le sigh.

Public Enemies is coming out a week from tomorrow. I am so excited. I've never really been le fou for Johnny the way most of the world is, I just love his work. Never understood why. I think probably because I am not able to delude myself to think that I could ever be amazing enough to deserve him...so I use slight indifference as a coping mechanism.

Marion does not have this problem. She is totally on his level, and I'm kind of rooting for them as a couple, even though I love him and Vanessa Paradis, Johnny and Marion would be like...Brad and Angelina who?

"Johnny Depp is a very, very nice guy. I was very nervous but he was very protective of me and if you really want to know, he is a very, very good kisser."-Marion Cotillard

Le sigh.


--Photo courtesy of INF.com

Monday, June 22, 2009

Listening is Sexy.

Johnny Flynn (and the Sussex Wit).

Why you should listen: Not to be shallow, but...I am. Screw it, we all are. He's sa-woon, you know? Besides it's not like he doesn't have anything to back it up. The music is great, folk with...pop I guess- very catchy, and very British with a little bit of Thoreau built in.

He draws from everyone from Bob Dylan to Shakespeare and W.B. Yeats. If Johnny Appleseed, dressed in denim overalls, plaid and a tweed cap, sang songs as he walked the country planting trees...these are the songs he would sing. Although their "sounds like" proclaims they are like the bikini cafe. Whatever that is.

An actor, poet and songwriter, he, until recently, was part of the all- male Propeller theater troupe, which put on Twelfth Night and The Taming of the Shrew in New York last year. The name of their first album, A Larum, is even Shakespearean in it's root, as a stage direction ("alarum off") which means that a commotion is happening off stage.

They have a flickr if you would like to follow, although I think their touring is pretty limited to the UK right now, so not much going on there:

Here is a video of Johnny Flynn and Laura Marling (formerly of Noah and the Whale) singing "Travel Light". Classic. Got to love whistling.

A Beast Named...Kyle.

I have been secretly curious about this movie "Beastly" ever since I heard about it. I mean, we all love the classics right? Watching them being butchered completely is a bad habit of mine. A guilty pleasure if you will. Beauty and the Beast will be a new one- usually they go straight for Cinders-ella.

I even watched the Selena Gomez version of Cinderella, and I sat, slack-jawed and mesmerized by the horrific-ness of it for the entire...what, 2 hours? Felt like twelve. I mean- she was 15 and that guy was 25, and that's just to begin. But I digress.

Mary-Kate is stoned. Not a shocker. Vanessa Hudgens, or Baby V as she likes to be called (it's her stripper name, who am I to judge?), is a simpering idiot. Makes me want to puke everytime she opens her mouth and that child voice comes out of her creepy face.

And yet...I know I will watch it. I will resist at first, but my sick, twisted nature will take over, and there I will be, in front of the television, slack-jawed and horrified.


What goes around...

Last night, the Black Eyed Peas’ manager allegedly punched Perez Hilton in the back of the head, after will.i.am and Perez had an exchange. Apparently, the pair called each other faggots as the fight continued to escalade. I'm going to leave the slurs alone and get to the point.

Point -

Without a victim, there is no crime. I don’t see a victim…just Perez.

Maybe it was karma that punched Perez and not the manager, and if that's the case- I'm perfectly fine with that. Despite the fact that I follow Perez's blog religiously, he is a very cruel person. Like, a huge jerk. He is the ultimate attention whore. Perez bashes people for being themselves and feels the need to point out every person's flaw (today, he pointed out cellulite on Kristen Bell. WHAT?!).

Instead of calling the police, Perez (get this) TWEETED... TWITTERERED(?)... that he needed someone else to call the them, a call from Japan was recorded. I don't have a Twitter, but I think calling 911 is easier to do then make a TRL-style request for someone to get officials.

I don't condone violence, but I think this was God giving Perez a love tap of common sense. And, if God cursed, I think he'd be saying, "Bitch, please."


Sexy Time

As in, I really want some with Michael Ealy aka the guy from Beyonce's video for "Halo". At first, I was going to write about how much I despise her new videos, but well played, Sasha Fierce, well played. She threw him in "Halo" and I completely forgot what I was going to say, which was...

Oh, yeah. Sorry. It's the eyes- his eyes are amazing and then the teeth. Saaaawoooon.

The song was written about Jay-Z and the light SashaFierceBeyonce sees around his head. And, I totally see one around Michael and Jay's head. I wouldn't fight either of them.

But, back to Beyonce. The "Halo" video is a nice break from seeing her and two randoms (possibly one tranny?) dancing on either side of her aka "Ego" and "Single Ladies" and "Diva". But, even in "Halo" video she feels the need to dance, and for someone trying to become an actress I find it hard to believe she's into M.E., which really can't be a stretch.

So, basically what I'm trying to tell Beyonce is that I personally want more guys in her videos than dancing. I think that's a reasonable request, no?

I should throw in a picture of Beyonce, but we know what she looks like. And, M.E. needs his space.


Reading is Sexy.

Anyone remember when Hermoine Granger was homely? Kind of had beaver teeth? Thus is the glitz and glamour of movies, that Hermoine is no more, and really hasn't been since the first Harry Potter. Emma Watson is gracing the cover of Teen Vogue, and once again, there is no comparison to any other cover they have ever had.

Emma is the girl who gives hope to all the bookish women of the world who know that there is more to culture than wearing a sparkle tube top while club hopping in Europe on your semester abroad.

Teen Vogue has been consistently moving in a more refined, glamorous direction, much more like it's more mature counterpart than ever before, and I think we see the culmination of that direction in this breathtakingly beautiful photo shoot. Cate Blanchett worthy, but with more...whimsy. Yeah, I said it. Whimsy.

The best part about Emma Watson? Not only is she completely serious about college, and being an English major (like yours truly), she wants to do it right- she will be living in the freshman dorms with a roommate. Whomever that lucky girl may be...I'm jealous. Imagine raiding that closet. Or very tiny cabinet, as the case usually is with college dorms. Fingers crossed for Yale ladies and gents!


Sunday, June 21, 2009

Why You Should Watch:

Skins, from BBC America. Honestly, one of the best shows on television... in the world- cause of the BBC thing... you know? But, really, this show is like The OC on crack. In fact a line from the show is - "It's like the fucking OC in here."

The show follows seven university students in Bristol, UK. We see their insane relationships with each other over 19 episodes with each character having at least one decided to them. The best part is that because it's from BBC America, it has all of our favorite four letter words. None of that, "Crap, he just made out with my boyfriend, I hate him." And, yes, I chose those words carefully.

Dev Patel.

FOLLOW THE LINK and laugh.


stop, admire, love, breathe and continue.

Dev Patel (s.a.l.b.c.) got his start on Skins as the insanely funny Anwar (hope you watched the link). The rest of the cast are pretty much unknowns to us with the exception of Tony, played by Nicholas Hoult - the kid from About a Boy. But from watching the show, I'd say just about everyone brings something to the table with really diverse cast.

Hannah Murray plays the lovable anorexic, pill-popping Cassie - she, basically, steals ever scene she's in and there are for sure parts of her wardrobe I want to steal. She's gotten the most publicity out of all of the cast members, besides Dev, with a ton of magazine features and a few UK covers.

The show also has an amazing sound track - personal favorite: Hummingbird by Born Ruffians, which was on The Hills a few weeks ago (there goes that). But, each episode holds at least two good tracks and there are a few online boards that have them listed if you're willing to search. But, who isn't for a good song?

iTunes offers the first two seasons for about $37 and the third one is running now in the UK. I've been trying to find the show online without much success, but I'll keep everyone updated.


Friday, June 19, 2009

Jonas Bros on Fire!

This picture frighted me- because for one second I thought that someone did what I've been secretly wanting to do for months. Don't get me wrong, I felt bad, but in the end, like I would be doing the world a service.

Because someone just needs to freaking burn Joe Jonas' weave.

At first I thought it would take care of itself. I mean, look at it- the thing looks like it has enough hairspray around it to fuel the fourth of July. I just figured it would go down like in Zoolander. Someone lights up near it and...well, I just pictured his eugogooly going something like this:

Kevin Jonas: "If there is anything that this horrible tragedy can teach us, it's that a male model's (tween rock star's) life is a precious, precious commodity. Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn't mean that we too can't not die in a freak gasoline fight (hair spray fight) accident."

I guess I'm still on the hook for this one though. Wish me luck.


--Photos courtesy of WENN.com

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Now They've Done It.

They've nearly killed him. Those Twi-Hard's almost destroyed the thing they love most- Edward in the flesh.

Flanked by five bodyguards, although apparently not enough for the immense strength CRAZY gives you, Robert Pattinson was nicked in the hip by a NYC cab. At which point, his would-be murderers started licking the cab where it had touched him.


The worst part of this whole thing? They did this as he was leaving the Strand, one of the greatest bookstores in the entire world. 12 MILES of books. How dare they profane it with their craziness?

and they call themselves book lovers.


--Photos courtesy of WENN.com

Now He's What Time It Is.

Remember those Mary Kate and Ashley straight to video movies? Of course you do, they defined our generation. Sadly enough. But with the many culturally relevant points they brought into our lives, such as the discussion about having your cake and eating it too, they also brought us the first appearance of Megan Fox.

...Where she created on of my favorite movie lines ever. EVER. Hate her as a person, but I have always been tempted to say it in all seriousness to someone.

Here's the scene: Brianna Wallace (Megan Fox) and posse are walking through a party, and of course, rando guys keep approaching them, because they are so totally the coolest, hottest girls there. lyke, fo sho.

rando boy: What's up?
Brianna Wallace: Not my temperature.

...and just keeps walking. Classic burn, and here she pulls it out again with this poor kid. Did he ever have a chance? Brianna Wallace, of the department store Wallaces, lives on.


Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Along for Another Ride Again with Dessen

Be Warned, Slight Spoilers Ahead:

I love Sarah Dessen and until I finished her most recent book, Along for the Ride, about twenty minutes ago she was my favorite author.

Sarah has fallen into a bad case of what Court and I have referred to as the Stephanie Meyers, she works one great plot. Though in Sarah's defense Stephanie Meyer cannot write and falls asleep at night hoping to wake up as Bella Swan.
Anyways. Dessen's gotten lazy- I was waiting for Auden (the main character) to push her new, slightly alienated, beau, Eli, away. Then, I waited for the appearance of a character from another book and after that, I really wasn't sure why I was still reading.

So, I devised this list.

You know when you're reading a book by Sarah Dessen, when:
  • the main character has an off beat name, and feels the need to explain it
  • there is character from another Dessen book
  • the last chapter is set a few months into the future with everyone content/happy with their current situation
  • the main character always learns to do something- swim or ride a bike
I'm still working on it, but I think this is a good start.

Maybe, she peaked after Just Listen, but I'm just sayin...

I suggest Megan McCafferty's Sloppy First and that series.


Gives Me Hope.

Here's a website we should all get behind. Yes, we all love laughing at how much other people's lives suck on FML, but I find that this...makes me feel better. Even me, everyone's favorite cynic. But even I would never thwart any genuine attempt to make the world a better place.


Gives Me Hope was started by Emerson Spartz and his fiance, Gaby Montero. Spartz is the owner and CEO of Mugglenet.com, the most popular and Harry Potter fansite, even praised by J.K. Rowling herself. He started it as a homeschooled 12 year old, where I'm guessing positive thinking got him a long way. 'Yeah, it sucks that I'm homeschooled, but now I have the time/I am smart enough to start my own website that will make me very rich at a young age.' He didn't say that, I'm speculating. He and his fiance are also recent Notre Dame graduates. Yes, they are only 22. Makes me feel like a dose of GMH right now.

Here's a sample of the kind of story that is on GML:
Today I was going out for a coffee with my boyfriend. On the way I passed a homeless man and gave him $5. When I got to Starbucks my boyfriend dumped me. I walked home crying, and when I passed the homeless man he told me how sorry he was, and offered to buy me a coffee. He used the $5 I gave him, and smiled proudly as he handed over the money. GMH

Also here's a news story the local South Bend station did on them, very cute.

***Sidenote: I realize this is ironic after what I wrote about Miley Cyrus. Whatever. She Gives Me Anger. GMA. There isn't a website for that, so I expressed it here. I'm sure she'll dry her tears with all that money she's making from people's bad taste. Cyrus = the opposite of GMH.