Saturday, June 27, 2009

Tale As Old As Time.

Ordinary boy becomes sports star. Girls with orange skin and light blond hair start circling. Sports star boy becomes blinded by their hair, while simultaneously disoriented by their cloying perfume. Boy will now see his millions wash away on weekly-nay- daily beauty regimens, "cute" cars, and lots and lots of alcohol. It's the skank energy drink.

When I started watching hockey, I believed that it was different. I believed that the hoochie lovin', bling wearing stereotype wouldn't reach. Sadly, it is alive in well in one of my favorite players, Pittsburgh's Evgeni Malkin. Geno, M-V-P.

It just goes to show- broken English may sound sweet, but don't trust it under any circumstances. He could be having a hard time expressing his love of dogs (or blogs :D ) OR he could be trying to tell you how much he likes...I don't know, throwing parties on his yacht for "ladies". Something gross like that. Lesson learned the hard way: treat broken english the way you would an injured dog in your backyard. Proceed with caution, it could be a sweet puppy, or you might get rabies. Or whatever else disease this Russian trollep is toating around.

Seriously, did she get attacked by a shark, or dressed in the dark? Because that is not the way any bathing suit should be worn. Ever. I'm not even disappointed anymore. Just grossed out. Hope he doesn't give any fast- spreading hoe disease to Sid.


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