Tuesday, August 18, 2009

The Power of Prayer.

Now I know why I like Katy Perry so much- we share the same curse. Katy recently said that when she was a little girl she prayed to have big (as our fave New Jersey housewives would say) bubbies. AND, she hasn't nicknamed them like that idiot Jennifer Love-Hewitt, who refers to her "girls" as Thelma and Louise. Barf. Anyways, Katy told The Sun:

"I remember really vividly kneeling by my bed as a nine-year-old, saying my prayers and asking God to give me boobs that were so big that if I laid on my back I wouldn't be able to see my feet. Eventually that request was granted. A bit of divi
ne intervention displays the power of prayer!"

I never prayed for them, but I these so-called blessings leave me no perks but being able to store money and phones safely. Downside: back problems, and creepy guys staring down your shirt- I'm 5'3", everyone can see down my shirt. Turtlenecks for me. And those are just a few of the weird ways your bubbies can affect everyday decisions. You turn 16, and all of sudden you have these huge mammaries controlling your life.

Usually I do what Katy is doing in this picture. Trade secret amongst busty girls- no one can tell your bust size when you're wearing a life jacket.
Here is one way they affect Katy's, and I basically do this too- that is, when I decide against strapping them down with Ace bandages around my chest à la Christina Ricci in Now and Then. Since Katy has had a few wardrobe mishaps onstage, she takes precautions:

"Every time before I go on stage, or go out where I know there will be a lot of photographers, I take a skipping rope and spend about ten minutes, fully clothed, skipping. I look like Rocky. This way I can ensure that everything is firmly in place and I won't have a wardrobe malfunction. Don't want those boulders doing a show of their own!"

Le sigh. If only I could give some away to those in need.

PS- I have her sunglasses. We are more alike than I thought.

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